I can't stop listening to this song. I took two, by Daedalus. It's very genius. And it sort of reminds me of this song. They're the types of songs that make me want to go out and kick some ass. Become something more than myself. It's very hard to more than oneself. I'd say it happens only a few times a year. True moments of brilliance and genius.

Sometimes when I'm biking around the city I also feel like those songs. But I have to see it from a third person point of view. When I picture myself like that I think that it's like a drum n bass video. Especially in the city, with all these strangers around me.

Strangers are a bit odd and remind me of alienation. Now I feel that my life is like a movie. I think that is it for now.

Having had a glorious summer of procrastinating on writing my memoir for way too long, getting maried, going to visit my mother in Africa and hanging out with my father, I logically ended up unemployed in Toronto this autumn. I could have gone anywhere else, but I must have felt as though I had some unfinished business here because I came right back.



At first, I wasn't planning on coming to Toronto. I even passed through Toronto and met with some friends, being all smug and thinking that I would not be there for a good little while. Then I encountered the furry of American border agents who refused me entry to the United States. Border agents are a hard reminder of the often oppresive powers of the state. True impersonal bureaucrats imposing rules from above, use meak individuals can do nothing to counter their computer powered obstination at refusing or allowing us entry to their country. And so, in the face of assholes wearing blue suits, Native American cigarette smugglers start to appear as true anarchist heroes destroying borders one zodiac boat at a time. But I digress...

So it is that I came back to the glorious gray skyline of west Toronto where I seem to have acclimatised myself unwillingly. At first I was quite confident that I would find a job at a moments notice. I found an apartment in three days in a basement with no windows and a short ceiling that forces me to bend in two whenever I need to shower (usually once a day). My upstairs neighbour smokes joints like it's going out of fashion so that the apartment usually smells of a mix of dirty dishes and mariuana. I am forced to leave the house often and early, otherwise the lack of sunshine puts me in a stuppor forcing me to play videogames and fall asleep.

Oddly enough, I've been quite happy here. I have good friends who are similarly unemployed. And perhaps more importantly, I started painting again. The thing with being unemployed is that you get a whole lot of free time all of a sudden. This was refreshing at first, then, I started going insane. Logically I decided to start painting, but since I'm very ADD I also got a bunch of Star Trek Deep Space Nine episodes from my friend. This has caused me to paint gloriously colorful apartments while watching space opera in a gloomy basement. I've been very happy about all that.